Chronicle: (kron'-i-kl) (n.)
1. An extended account in prose or verse of historical events, sometimes including legendary material, presented in chronological order and without authorial interpretation or comment.
2. To record in or in the form of a historical record.
You will buy this.
8/2/05
When tickets for Ozzfest 2005 were being bought a while back, I had no interest in any of the bands, so I didn't get one. Marsh bought one, but found out he couldn't go a few weeks before the show, so there was a free ticket up for grabs. I took it, why not. After that, I started getting into Black Sabbath, so when I found out they were playing, I was amped. The night before Ozzfest, I slept over Karls house along with Emsak, John, Tom, Biggie, and Eric. We filmed some shit for Sex Ed 2 and got like four hours sleep. We left, but only after Eric and Karl got a lecture from Karl's mom about a mess they left on the lawn the night before.
We got to PNC Bank Arts Center around 9am and slathered ourselves in sunscreen, and waited on the line to get in. It was about a forty five minute wait, and even then the temperature was in the high 80s. Someone from the Trivium street team gave us nifty schedule cards for all the bands, which helped. We eventually got patted down for weapons, and let into the venue. Immediately there are like fifty merch booths. Most of it was cheap, knock-off Hot Topic style shirts, but one actually had some cool shit. The shirts were overpriced, as expected, so I didnt get any.
One of the first things I did there was go over to the merch tent where they sell CDs, and buy Tony Iommis new solo album. By the way, Tony Iommi has been the guitarist for Black Sabbath for 35 years now. Anyway, the booth was being run by FYE, which, if you've ever seen their prices in the store, you'd see right away that they're overpriced. Sure enough, the CD was $20. Though I appreciate that they didnt try to make it seem less by putting some "$19.99" bullshit. Will that old scheme ever end?
I didn't really mind the price since I had $80 to spend there in the first place. I also got a pass to get the CD signed by Tony Iommi himself, later on in the day. Anyway, the first band gets on stage, It Dies Today, and already Eric and Karl are in the mosh pit. I decided not to do any moshing since moshing isnt really for me, especially any of that gay-ass "hardcore dancing" or "2-stepping". I remember one time I went to Dock Street, there were all these fags swinging their fists and kicking their legs around in a giant mosh pit. I wouldn't really have minded but since they were all pussies and stood 20 feet away from each other, the rest of the crowd was packed in there like sardines.
Near the bathrooms was a Marines tent. They were there in hopes to recruit, and spark your interest with a pull-up challenge. Depending on how many pull-ups you could do, depended on a prize you won. Eric got up there and was trying for 30, which I think was the minimum for a free t-shirt. He makes it to 29 and quits. Then one of the Marines asks me if I'd like to try. First of all, the bar was like 10 feet over my head. Second, I couldn't do two pull-ups to save my life. I could just imagine myself, captured by terrorists, setting me free under the condition that I do two pull-ups.
So I'm looking at the schedule, not interested in any of the bands on the second stage. Jada Pinkett Smith's band, Wicked Wisdom, were getting on stage at 11:50. Yes, you read correctly, Jada Pinkett Smith. An example of someone with more money than talent. I got to watch most of their set, just to see how bad it was. First of all, the instruments drowned out most of the vocals, which was a good thing. Second, the songs were horrible and everyone boo'ed them after each song.
One guy threw a bottle clear over the band, nailing the banner behind them. Though, I have to say seeing them was quite worth it. The Fresh Prince himself, WILL SMITH, was there, on stage. He looked like such a dork trying to headbang, I kinda felt bad. After Wicked Wisdom got boo'ed off stage, people were chanting "WILL SMITH! WILL SMITH!". They wanted to get jiggy with it. Around that time, we went to go get some lunch. As expected, the prices were hiked up-- $4.50 for a regular-sized bottle of Snapple, and $5 for a mediocre cheeseburger.
The dumbasses running PNC had like five picnic tables set up, when there were over 17,000 people there. We tried sitting on some staircase leading to an underground bathroom, where we were quickly rushed off by security. Maybe if they splurged their budget on a 6th picnic table, we wouldn't have to sit there. A nice, slanted spot on a lawn, directly under the sunlight, was where we ate our overpriced lunches.
When everyone finished, we started to split up again. I was waiting until 2:15 when As I Lay Dying goes on stage, and performs a song called 94 Hours. The drummer shows some amazing skill in that song, so I was excited to see it live. When the time came, it sucked. It was some watered down version that no one cared about. Somehow, probably by some big mistake, there were actual toilets and water fountains available there. I saved my cup from lunch, and refilled it at the water fountains a couple of times during the course of the day. I tell you, if those fountains weren't there, I'd probably be dead from dehydration, laying in a ditch somewhere in PNC.
So of course from all that free water, I had to piss. I get to the bathrooms, and the line is out the door. These two guys in front of me got fed up and just start pissing in the corner of the room. Someone from the PNC staff sees them, stares, and just shakes his head in confusion. Up to that point, it was the most entertainment I had gotten all day. Anyway, when it was my turn, I couldn't piss because some guy at the urinal next to me was looking over at my dick.
Around 2:30, I found out the gates for the main stage were opening at 3. The way the main stage for PNC is set up, is there's the stage, then about seventy-five rows of seats, then a lawn behind it. We got what they call "lawn seats", where basically you just stand on the lawn the entire show. Since Biggie and I were really anxious to get a good spot on the lawn, we waited by the gates until 3. There were people running alongside us, to which some miscellaneous PNC staff member told us to slow down. We did for like a second and kept running.
Its important to stake out your spot on the lawn and keep it, because someone else won't hesitate to take it. Personally, out of all the bands playing the main stage, the first one I wanted to see started at 5:05, which meant a nice little two hour wait in the sun, not being able to leave. It was especially difficult since me and him were also saving spots for five other people. Though, I was patient because those good spots would pay off later on. At 4, I decided to leave to get my Tony Iommi CD signed. I purposely left early to get ahead on the line, in order to get back to the spot sooner. The signing was supposed to start at 4:30, but Tony didn't show up until about 4:45.
I thought the way it would work was you give him your CD booklet, and he signs it. Before it starts, personnel tells everyone to take out their booklets, and they collect them. Tony was frantically signing the stack of booklets, while you just walk by and take a random one. I wanted to talk to him a little since thats probably gonna be my only chance to ever see him in person again. Sadly, everyone was rushed along like an assembly line. When I took my booklet, I looked at him and said "Tony, I just want to say you're an amazing musician and..." when staff starts pushing me along. Then I said "...and thank you very much", for autographing my booklet. He looks up and says, in his British accent, and says "Thank YOU very much". I would have shaken his hand but I was practically dripping with sweat and I didn't want to freak him out. I then rushed back to the main stage.
Sure enough, two dipshits managed to sqeeze themselves in front of us, in our spot on the lawn. I was a little disappointed, but they didnt really cloud our view of the stage, well, not mine at least. I wasn't having two assholes ruin my Ozzfest. Black Label Society got on at 5:05. I never heard any songs from them, but I heard good things. As they played, I was really disappointed. The guitars drowned out the vocals and other instruments, and there was too much feedback. I swear, I couldn't tell when one song ended and when one began, especially with all the endless solos connecting them. Biggie recently sent me some studio versions of their songs, and I was pleased to find out, they're much better. I liked them a lot. They're kind of a mix between Pantera and Slayer.
The next band to get on stage was Shadows Fall. Biggie and I had no interest in seeing them, so we used that opportunity to get "dinner". We waited on the concession line for like 20 minutes with three people in front of us. I really don't understand what the big holdup was. How hard is it to get the food from the package, heat it, and give it to the cashier? We both got official Pizza Hut personal dish pizzas. They were $5.50 and the iced tea was still $4.50. The pizza was pretty good. After all, its good ol' Pizza Hut. We got back in time for Mudvayne.
Wow they were horrible. Every song seemed to drag on and on while half the audience was snoring. Though I have to admit, one of my guilty pleasures is their song "Dig". I like that song, and it was the last one on their setlist. It was pretty good, but not as tight as the studio version. I was hoping something good would come of the rest of Mudvayve, so I watched. I mean, the whole purpose of going there was to be entertained, right? No further entertainment from them.
At 8:05, the sun starts going down, and the main attraction takes stage, Iron Maiden. I figure they were the main attraction, since I only saw about 16,993 people wearing Iron Maiden shirts that day. This is when everyone on the lawn started trying to get as close to the stage as possible. Just like at Dock Street, we were packed in like sardines at the last row of seats. Throughout the Iron Maiden performance, I had some fat, over the hill metalhead right on top of me, screaming the lyrics to every song they played, practically in my ear. I can't really comment on the performance since I'm not much of an Iron Maiden fan, but they put on a great show. They were really tight, got a lot of crowd participation, and had tons of energy.
And now for the time I had all been waiting for, Black Sabbath. By this time, the sun was completely down, so it was nice and cool outside. It was also really dark. In the last row of seats we were standing in front of, there was like four empty seats. I jumped the two foot fence, along with John, Biggie, and Tom, and sat down. I think security might have noticed us, but I didn't care, and I don't think they did either. After all, those seats were empty for the whole day, so its not like someone was sitting in them and we stole them. It wasn't really closer to the stage either, but it saved me from getting squished on the lawn.
They got on stage and played all the classics. The whole band was tight, and surprisingly, Ozzy sounded amazing. Everyone had low expectations of him that night, but his voice was really strong. They even did some rarely played songs like "After Forever" and "Dirty Women". I was thrilled to see one of my favorite bands live, especially before its too late. Bill Ward, the drummer has been in poor heath the past few years, but at this show he was very solid, heavily focused on his drumming.
Of course, Tony Iommi never skipped a beat in any of his riffs or solos, though I wish he wasn't so rigid on stage. Geezer Butler, the bassist, didn't seem that enthusiastic, but I didn't care about that. Ozzy was also very energetic throughout the show, with a big smile on his face, and mooning the crowd the second song into the set. I was glad there were big screens around the stage showing different shots of them playing. They were kinda far away from where I was, and I wanted to be able to actually see them. Though I was bummed when they didn't do that for like two songs.
The band did an encore, and holy dumb fuck it was awful. It was "Children of the Grave", one of my favorite sabbath songs. The rest of the band was good, but Ozzy was in bad shape. His voice was cracking throughout almost the whole song, plus he was having a hard time with the lyrics. I had to wince a couple of times at how bad it sounded. I was disappointed. The show ended, and everyone started leaving, also disappointed. Though I was still really happy to see them kick ass on nine other songs.
All in all, Ozzfest 2005 was definitely worth it. When I told my mom all the things that happened at Ozzfest, she said "So you got ripped off at the concessions, stood out in the heat for 12 hours, and saw Ozzys ass, yeah that sounds like it was worth it". I decided that for Ozzfest 2006, if there is one, I'm buying seats. It'll save me the trouble of having to fend off a spot on a lawn for five hours. I was also really lucky to go to this show because the next night at PNC, Black Sabbath cancelled because of Ozzy's voice problems. They also cancelled the CD signing. I would have been mad pissed. Anyway, when Tony and Geezer finish the Ozzfest tour, they're touring together for their solo albums. I'll be there!
7/2/05
Free Ice Cream Day
6/28/05
Well the past week has been chock full of its ups and downs. I had to take regents three straight days in a row, including the Math B which I'm afraid I failed. I'll have to go to summer school if I did, even if I passed the class. That Friday, we had Theresa's going away party in Rossville. Emsaks plan to get there was to walk 80 blocks to Jezels house in the heat. We did it all for the sake of Theresa, only to learn the party wasn't at Jezel's house. The party was in Rossville, and we were exactly where that French oil barge exploded a few years ago. Yes, we were sitting on the actual barge, which needless to say, wasn't a pleasant atmosphere, but it was fun stomping out the horseshoe crabs and listening to Vinny's pot stories.
The hot, flat soda and tortilla chips didn't make for the best party I've ever been to, though all that mattered was hanging out with Theresa one last time. Walking back to the bus stop, we encountered some short Mexicans (yes I'm calling somebody short) that were playing kickball and oggling the girls that were with us. I placed some of those tortilla chips down in front of me as a peace offering and they left us alone. Me, Emsak, and Eric waited like 2 years for the bus only for the dickhead busdriver to start complaining about us.
We were using our student metros during the allowed time and day and he says to me "HEY! Let me see this!" right before I go to put it in the machine. I show it to him and he rips it out of my hand like some toughguy and says "If I see anybody using these after Monday [when they expire], I'm kicking them off the bus and making them fuckin' walk!". Thank you, officer. He was just some irritated piece of shit. Just like the bus drivers that won't let you on the bus if your metro ran out. The money I'm not spending isn't coming out of his paycheck, so why does he care? No one superior to him is ever gonna know whether or not I was ever on the bus. Ugh.
Monday was lousy until I had my Applebees birthday party. I invited mad people and there was Biggie, Emsak, Mike, Karl, Gay Tom, Eric, and Bret. It was pretty civilized for once. Emsak ordered the Coconut Shrimp from the appetizer menu as a meal. When he got it, there were about eight shrimp the size of quarters. I felt sorry for him that he got ripped off (it cost $8) so I gave him my fries. Next thing I know he's doing backflips and building pyramids. Then the bill comes and we had to pay a ridiculous $17 tip that was required because of how many people we had. They even gave us two circle tables to sit at since they're a bunch of cheap fucks. I don't think I'm gonna want to go back there. All in all I had a fun time being with everyone and I hope the rest of the summer is eventful as this.
Paul Marsh and I have been talking about Sex Ed 2, and we decided we want to do it, so this summer as Marsh comes home for two weeks, we'll be filming some hardcore shit, just like in the old days. Also, July 4th is the Sex Ed 1 premiere/barbeque, so I'll be filling everyone in on that, in addition to the happenings at my full time job at Palone Air Conditioning, possible summer school, and my upcoming Lake George vacation. Lastly, Bumfights 4 and Bro-Cam have been offically announced on their websites, so look out for those.
6/11/05
Hell aka Mall Carnival (part 1)
Hell aka Mall Carnival (part 2)
Hell aka Mall Carnival (part 3)
Friday night I went to the mall carnival and this time, I took a digital camera, so people can actually see the horribility. Beware, there's 48 pictures at high resolution on these three pages, so dialup users should be patient while the whole page loads. Also, if my site goes down from too many people going on it, an hour will pass before more people can visit. Please conserve my bandwidth and click the parts you didn't get a chance to view. By starting from the beginning, you make my site shut down faster. I hope this article is somewhat informative for you and loved ones. Enjoy.
6/6/05
Virus Alert: AIM Bullshit
6/4/05
Fuckin' Anthrax!
Read these classics, then go to hell.
The Bum Car Documentary
Pathmark Adventure
The Top 5 Worst Candies EVER
Shitty Movies Of 2004
Soda Companies Are Fucking Retarded
I Hate The Simple Life
Fan Appreciation
Pete's Guide To Cheating Successfully
Pete's Chronicles Archives: 2003 (It sucks)
Pete's Chronicles Archives: 2004
Pete's Chronicles Archives: 2005
| Bumfights | Maddox | Thilo | Tom Green | Tourettes Guy | Paul Marsh | Bret Peters | Karl Finkelstein | Matt Emsak | John Gioe | The Flipside Comics |
...and remember folks, YOUR MOTHER HAS A NICE ASS! I'D LIKE TO TIT-FUCK HER ASS!
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Pete's Chronicles (c) 2003, 2004, 2005 by Pete